my cousin accidently texted me instead of his wife
cousin: guess who's got two thumbs, a dick, and wants to rub himself against you like a tom cat in heat? THIS GUY. [nude picture of said cousin pointing at himself with both thumbs and an erection]
cousin: oh fuck oh fuck
cousin: broomy oh fuck no don't look shut your eyes
me: I NEVER KNEW YOU FELT THIS WAY
me: OUR LOVE IS FORBIDDEN BUT STRONG
cousin: no please don't
me: COME, MY WILD AND YOWLING TOM CAT. COME AND TAKE ME FOR I AM YOURS FOREVER.
cousin: I hate you.
When contempating a $15.00 purchase
10-year-old me: Wow idk that's a lot of money
15-year-old me: Kickass, that's so cheap
20-year-old me: Wow idk that's a lot of money
Work until your idols become your rivals.